The Tale of a (not) Indian Princess

Looks pretty good, doesn’t it?  Well, let me tell you the tale of my attempt at creating an Indian like dish. 

Once upon a time, there was a young princess named Taneasha (Just go with it.  It’s my story, I can tell it how I want).  Although she had a name that was foreign, odd, or at the very least not befitting her, it was certainly not Indian.  In spite of that, and the fact that she was far too lazy to put in the effort to do it properly, she decided to try her hand at preparing a fabulous Indian delight.  With merely the intention of creating a dish that resembled the flavors and structure of Indian cuisine, she gathered her ingredients and set to work. 

1 boneless, skinless chicken breast
1 medium onion
½ inch piece of ginger
4-5 garlic cloves
1 cup diced tomatoes with juice
½ cup coconut milk
½ water
¼ teaspoon salt
2 Tablespoons vegetable oil
1 teaspoon garam masala
1 teaspoon coriander
1 teaspoon turmeric
1 teaspoon cumin
1 teaspoon paprika
¼ cup water (additional)
1 Tablespoon flour

First, she cut the chicken into bite sized cubes and set it aside.  Next came the chopping.  She peeled the ginger and garlic cloves and minced them as fine as a mere knife would allow. 

Next came the onion, but not quite as fine. 

While the oil was heating in a pan over medium heat, she measured all the spices (garam masala, coriander, turmeric, cumin, and paprika) into a small dish and stirred them together. 

Then, into the pan went the onion, and the salt was sprinkled over the top.

After about a minute or two of stirring it around, the garlic and ginger were added.  She continued to stir them about in the pan until the onion was nice and soft and translucent, about 5 – 7 minutes, before sprinkling the spice mixture over the top. 

She knew the spices shouldn’t be exposed to the heat for very long before having liquid added, so she quickly mixed them into the onions and added the chicken. 

After a mere 30 seconds, she poured in the tomatoes and water. 

Of course, Taneasha’s servants always bottled tomatoes from the palace gardens while they were in season, but commoners could probably make do with store bought if necessary. 

She placed a lid over the chicken mixture and allowed it to simmer for 15 minutes.  This was good, because she was far overdue for some lemonade and a foot rub.  The servants did, of course, stir it every few minutes to keep it from burning. 

Refreshed and relaxed, she returned to the stove and poured in the coconut milk. 

To her delight as she stirred it in, it was starting to resemble Indian dishes that had been prepared for her before. 

To thicken things up just a bit, she mixed together the flour and water, and stirred them into the pan.  When the mixture was thick and smelled fabulous, she spooned it over rice and added a piece of freshly baked naan.  (Remember our pitas?  I told you frozen ones would come in handy)

Proud of her accomplishment, Taneasha dished a plate for her prince and watched, eagerly awaiting his response as he took his first bite.  To her dismay, it was not a look of delight, but of repulsion.  As it turned out, the prince detested coriander.  Even the princess was somewhat disappointed in the results.  Although it didn’t taste bad, it could have used some more complex flavors.  At the very least a tablespoon of honey or sugar, and even better would have been some mango puree and/or red bell pepper. 

Perhaps princesses should leave the cooking to professionals, or at least stick to something more in their league. 

In all seriousness, I had a meal made with one of these simmering sauces from a jar last week.  It took maybe 20 minutes to prepare and was fabulous.  Much better than this two hour investment in disappointment.  Lesson learned.       

Peanut Butter Twigs

When I was a little girl, my very favorite candy bar was Peanut Butter Twix.  Over the years they’ve disappeared repeatedly from store shelves, only to reemerge in new packaging or with a new spin.  At one point, you even had to buy them on the cookie isle.  Their latest rendition, Twix PB, is simply an abomination.  The idea sounds good, changing the cookies to chocolate, but it’s not.  On the down side, this means I can no longer get my favorite childhood treat.  On the upside, the lack thereof is what inspired me to recreate the original, but on my terms.  No artificial crap, no hydrogenated whatever, and no mystery, can’t pronounce it, ingredients.  Oh… and no dipping, because quite frankly, dipping is a pain in the ass, and we already covered that here.

Here’s what you’ll need: (minus salt and vanilla.  D'oh!)

Crust:
½ cup (1 stick) butter
½ cup Powdered Sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 cup all purpose flour

Peanut butter layer:
1 cup Peanut butter (organic or all natural)
1 ¼ cups powdered sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla
½ teaspoon salt
3 Tablespoons half and half

Chocolate ganache:
1 cups milk chocolate chips
2 Tablespoons half and half

First things first.  Preheat your oven to 300° and line a square 8x8 pan with parchment, leaving plenty of excess for ‘handles’.  If you butter the pan first, the parchment will stay in place better. 

Let’s start with the crust.  In a mixing bowl, beat together a stick of butter and a teaspoon of vanilla until it looks like this:

Sift in the powdered sugar (that’s icing sugar for you non-Americans).  I know I’m starting to sound like a nag, but yes, you really do need to sift it. 

Keep mixing until it becomes the consistency of icing. 

Now add the flour and mix some more.  When it looks like this, you’re going to think I’ve led you astray.

But keep mixing.  It will eventually come together to form a dough.  When it does, dump it into your pan.

Press it evenly into the bottom of the pan.  If it sticks to your fingers, just flour them a bit.  When it’s mostly even, prick the dough all over with a fork. 

This is called docking.  It allows steam to escape during the cooking process, which keeps bubbles from forming in the crust and keeps it flat.  Bake the crust for 35 minutes, or until it’s golden around the edges and just beginning to turn on top.  Allow it to rest in the pan for 5 minutes or so, and then remove it to a cooling rack. 

When the crust has cooled, it’s time to start on the filling… topping?  Whatever.  Peanut butter and chocolate goodness.  In your mixing bowl… you did wash your mixing bowl while the crust was cooling, right?  Do it now, I’ll wait.  *whistling the theme song from Jeopardy*  Ok, now that it’s clean and dry, throw in the peanut butter, butter, salt, and vanilla and mix until it looks like this:

Sift in the powdered sugar (there I go with the sifting again) and continue mixing.  When it looks like this:

It’s time for the half and half.  3 Tablespoons will make a world of difference.  It should come together into a smooth, dough like consistency.  Scoop it onto your crust.

Time for pressing again.  At first, I thought I’d just spread it with an offset spatula.  Um, no.  Fingers are definitely the tool of choice here. 

And now it’s finally time for the chocolate.  As I said before, we’re not dipping.  We’re just going to spread a nice layer of chocolate ganache on top.  In a glass container (I like to just use my measuring cup) add 1 cup of chocolate chips and 2 Tablespoons of half and half. 

Microwave for 30 seconds, then stir, stir, stir, and keep stirring.  Until it becomes a smooth, fudgy icing.  Then, spread that over the peanut butter layer. 

Refrigerate for at least an hour to allow everything to firm up before cutting.  Run a knife along the pan edges to loosen the chocolate and peanut butter layers, then pull the whole thing out and place it on a cutting board.  Pressing straight down with your knife, cut the whole thing in half, and then cut each half into long fingers. 

These are more delicious than any store bought candy bar could be.  Even if Twix decides to reincarnate the original, I think I’ll stick with my twigs.

So, what was your favorite childhood treat?