Chicken Tortilla Soup

I briefly contemplated making brownies this week as well. But holy crap there's just no way to follow Taneasha's turtle brownies with something sweet. Those things are freaking unreal.

Instead, I opted for something completely different.

Chicken tortilla soup is this weird soup that never seems to be the same and has some strange little quirks to it. I mean, it's chicken soup, but you don't put the chicken in the soup? It's tortilla *soup*, but for some reason the tortilla chips are supposed to be crunchy? I have no clue how I'm supposed to pull that off, but apparently it's such a requirement that people will actually send the soup back in restaurants if the tortilla chips get soggy too fast? wtf?

Some people are very fussy bitches.

So, taking what we could, and what we wanted to, from various recipes we'd found on line, and memories of the soup from restaurants (I've only had it once in a restaurant, but Recipe Guy had a few stories for it) we created what we are calling "Chicken Tortilla Soup"

And now for something completely different.

Chicken Tortilla Soup

What you need:

• 2 L of chicken broth
• 2 tbsp oil
• 1 or 2 onions (one large or two small)
• 4 cloves garlic
• 1 tsp ground cumin
• 1 zucchini
• 1 poblano or anaheim or bell pepper (but preferrably poblano)
• 1 tin of black beans
• 1 tin of stewed tomatoes, diced
• 1 bay leaf
• 1 lime
• chicken (leftover works quite nicely)
• tortillas
• cilantro
• cheese (cheddar if you must, but ideally monterey jack)

What you gotta do:

So, if you don't have cans, jars, or boxes of chicken broth handy, you can do the next best thing: put a whole chicken (or cut up bits of one) in a pot, cover it with water, boil it for a couple hours.

If you boil a chicken for broth, you'll also find you have a handy source of chicken for the soup too. Leftovers freeze nicely, and once you've stripped all the meat from it, you can actually boil the bones again with some veggies to make a nice chicken stock. (Freeze them in the mean time).

Heat a medium pan over medium heat and then sautee the onions and garlic in the oil for a few minutes. Add the cumin and let it get nice and fragrant; it just needs a couple minutes.

Add the broth. Then tomatoes,

the diced veggies, and the bay leaf.

The pot we chose was getting a little full, so we only used half the tin of diced tomatoes. It was a large one anyway. We used difference in a spaghetti sauce. Tasty sauce is tasty!

Black beans are next! Drain and rinse them first though. They totally sink to the bottom of the pot, but they are there.

Squeeze in the juice of one lime. Whole thing.

Let this simmer just until the zucchini are just done. This does not take long; 15, maybe 20 minutes. Yup, this is actually a fast soup dinner. Totally doable on a weeknight, uses up leftovers, has veggies, and includes chips. Perfect Wednesday night dinner.

While that's simmering, shred the leftover chicken into bowls. Now, I'm not sure exactly why it has to be done this way, but Southern Momma (that's Recipe Guy's momma) absolutely insists that it must be done this way. Must! Shrill objection if it is not.

I tend to look at food from a somewhat frugal point of view, and I'm guessing that since this dish uses leftovers, it was a way to thinly spread the leftover chicken between bowls without any getting lost in the pot and without all of it ending up in one bowl. Whatever the reason, we did it this way.

You are welcome to add the chicken to the pot if you prefer.

The tortillas... in the bowl, on the edge, under the broth, on top afterwards, completely abandoned in favour of masa instead... I don't really know what to say here except that if you think your tortillas are going to stay crunchy in soup, you're a fucking moron.

I was aiming for something to take pictures of so I lined the sides of the soup bowls with them.

Ladel the soup over the chicken and tortillas,

then top with cilantro and cheese.

Oh yeah, some people put the cheese in the bowl with the chicken before ladelling the soup on.

Really, you're going to have to figure out how you want to do your layers on your own. This is a very individualized thing. When Recipe Guy when in for seconds, he crunched the tortilla chips up in his hands

and put them on the bottom, along with the cheese.

Some recipes require that slices of avocado be placed on top of, or in the soup once it's in the bowl. Warm avocado kinda grosses me out, so we didn't do that. Guacamole makes a nice side dish for this though, particularly if you have some non-soup-soaked tortilla chips handy.

Because once you pour soup on them this happens:

Tasty, but not crunchy.

Tortillas don't stay crunchy after you've poured soup onto them.

Seriously! Who thinks this??

VD

Extreme close up food porn.

So, I totally don't do the VD thing, and I have a wicked cake-fail that I thought would have made a fabulous post for today, but it's probably going to end up nearly as long as Taneasha's fucking awesome birthday cake post, and I've got a house guest and a mid-term tomorrow.

I've also got amaretti cookies that are amazing on their own, but a fabulous ingredient to use in other things. If you don't have time to make a batch of your own, check in your grocery store for them. Most of the larger chains will have them (probably either on the top or bottom shelf), but if not, an Italian deli or grocery will definitely have them.

Chocolate Terrine

What you need:

• 1 tin sweetened condensed milk
• 1/2 c butter
• 6 oz semisweet or bittersweet chocolate (chips work)
• 1/2 tsp cinnamon
• 3/4 c dried cherries
• 3/4 chopped dried apricots
• 1-1/2 c chopped or crumbled amaretti cookies

What you gotta do:

Half fill a medium pot of water and put it on the stove to boil. Once it's boiled, turn the heat down to medium low, and cover the pot with a large heatproof bowl. Double boilers used to be quite common and every cookware set came with one, but they seem to have fallen out of fashion. Meh, the bowl on the pot works just fine. Just make sure it's glass or metal, and that you have a heating pad and / or oven mitt handy.

In the large bowl, combine the sweetened condensed milk, butter, chocolate, and cinnamon.

Stir gently as it all melts together.

Once it's nice and smooth, you can take it off the heat.

Stir in the fruit and cookies.

You can also add chopped almonds here if you want. They'd be tasty. So would hazelnuts, I think. Walnuts are not acceptable. Absolutely not. They don't have the smooth interior that almonds and hazelnuts do, and they don't have the same sweetness either. Walnuts are a savoury nut in my kitchen and go in things like salads and sauces.

The description "terrine" is not usually applied to dessert type foods, but really there's no other way to describe this dish based on what we're about to do next.

Line a loaf pan with foil, and then with plastic wrap. Yes, you need both. Yes, I have tried with only one and it doesn't work. While I will admit to pantsing in the kitchen on a regular basis and then subjecting you to the outcome, this isn't one of those times, I've made this dish on many occasions and believe it or not I actually know what I'm doing.

For a change.

Pour the chocolate-cookie-fruit(-nut) mixture into your double lined pan. Looks lovely doesn't it. Perfect for VD.

Tap the pan on the counter a few times to get any air bubbles out then smooth the top with a spatula.

Fold over the plastic wrap so that the chocolatey goodness is sealed in, then cover the top of the pan with foil.

Let this chill in the fridge for a few hours. I'm sure you can find something to do while it sets; I mean, this is the socially constructed day where once a year we have no choice but to show our romantic partners some kind of attention that should include large expenditures of money, right?

Or you could just get naked and fuck. Like every other day. Whatever.

After a few hours you can unmold the tasty loaf. It should be good to go after about 3, but 6 is ideal.

If you didn't make reservations 3 months ago for dinner at some expensive restaurant that serves food you could probably just make yourself anyway, and are now panicking to make some food, this dessert is something you should make in the morning. Or yesterday. I'm so helpful, I know.

As you try to unwrap it, if the chocolate is sticking to the plastic and you're pulling the chocolate pate out of it's lovely prismic shape, it's too soon. Re-wrap and give it another hour.

There will be a bit of sticking, but you shouldn't be pulling off chunks of chocolate with the plastic.

Since this is a lovely loaf shape, cut it with a sharp knife into slices.

Perfect dessert. Rich, smooth chocolate with chewey friut and crispy cookies. It is rich though, and a small slice is all you need. But you'll probably want more. It's okay, you can burn off the calories by fucking.

What's your favourite way to burn calories?