Extreme DIY

I'm not cooking.

Well, I am. Last night we grilled crooknecks, reduced some wine, added butter, and tossed it all with pasta, chicken breast, basil, and cheese. Tonight, pork filling for tacos. I do like pork in tacos.

I also made date muffins again (turns out the recipe actually works and wasn't a total fluke), and sauteed chard to go into biscuit pastry for lunchy spanikopita-type things.

But I didn't take a single picture.

But I did take pics of food. It's just that it's food in a somewhat less familiar format.

The garden.

Yes, food comes from dirt.

And while Taneasha and I are fans of DIY cooking, Recipe Guy has gone one step further and is DIYing his own food.

I've had gardens in the past, but right now I'm trapped in my student apartment without even a balcony on which to grill things. Man, I love food cooked on fire.

So, as I said, we grilled crooknecks last night. But first we had to harvest them. Squashes are fuzzy, and the fuzz is sharp and sticks in your fingers like fibreglass.

Tasty things always have ways of protecting themselves. Note that the broccoli has no thorns, no fuzz, no dangerous parts to navigate around. That's because it's not edible. Contrary to what his housemates seem to think.

Behind the broccoli is the remnants of the iceburg lettuces. There was romaine too. There's red leaf on the way. There's also chard.

A lot of chard. I'd already taken 2-4 leaves off each of those plants. That got me about 4 grocery store sized bundles of chard. Sautee that shit in bacon fat with a bit of browned onion... goes perfectly with fried chicken. Holy yum.

I need to make fried chicken.

Some would recommend frying these little green tomatoes,

but I think I'll wait until the sun turns them red (better them than me) and then eat them warm off the vine.

TIP: As soon as your tomato plant starts fruiting, defoliate it. Pervert, it means take the leaves off. If you remove the leaves around the fruits, the sun will ripen them faster and the plant will put more energy into fruiting since it no longer has leaves to feed.

And, if you let your cilantro go to seed, you'll attract all kinds of flying insects that will help pollinate the rest of the garden,

and those little green burrs in the bottom left are actually corriander seed, a component of garum masala. Let them dry, harvest them by putting a paper bag over the seed head, turn it upside down and shake; all the seeds fall into the bag. This works for dill seed too.

If you're lucky, you'll have a neighbour with honey bees

(can you see the bee butt in the flower?) who shares the hibiscus scented honey that results from his bees spending all their time in your bushes.

Of course, if you have a garden you need a compost heap.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=04Zz-GRPAzA

(still don't know how to embed vids)

Now, you may not end up with a blues-singing, advice-giving heap, but what you might get are a few volunteers. I don't think I've ever seen a compost heap that didn't have things growing in it.

We're pretty sure this is a butternut squash.

There are onions just to the left out of the frame too. Which is good because Mowing Man keeps mowing down the wild onions in the horse pature.

Speaking of wild things, remember the wild beans that appeared last year during the drought? Well, if you let wild beans go to seed in your garden, they will happily come back and demand trellises the next year.

How does your garden grow?

Punt the Velveeta for a Super Bowl of Queso!

That’s right.  It’s Super Bowl time again.  Even though Hubby’s two least favorite teams will be playing, I have a feeling we’ll still be watching it, regardless of how much he rants about the Patriots.  Yes, we live in Massachusetts, and my husband hates the Patriots.  And although he also hates the New York Giants, his favorite team is the Jets, who are also from New York.  I don’t really get it.  I have a feeling it has a lot more to do with uniform colors than anything else.  Anyway, enough about the sport, let’s talk food.  More specifically, let’s talk Chili con Queso… or more commonly known as just Queso.  I have to admit that I love the stuff.  Warm, creamy, spicy, cheesy, what’s not to love, right?  I’ll answer that for you.  Velveeta.  Velveeta is a creepy, ‘cheese food’, product that requires no refrigeration and never goes bad.  Honestly, I’m surprised it even works as fish bait.  Unfortunately, probably every queso you’ve ever eaten was made from it, or something very similar.  Well, no more.  I wasn’t sure I could actually make a dip that would have the same creamy consistency using real cheese, but I did, and it is amazing. 

Here’s what you’ll need:   

18 oz. grated cheese (about 5-ish cups)
1 ½ cups whole milk
2 – 3 jalapenos, diced
½ onion, diced
2 – 3 tomatoes, diced
3 cloves garlic, minced (about 1 Tablespoon)
2 Tablespoons butter
2 Tablespoons flour
½ teaspoon salt
¼ teaspoon pepper
1 teaspoons chili powder
½ cup cilantro, chopped
¼ cup sour cream

The first thing you’ll want to do is dice everything up.  Then, in a sauce pan over medium low heat, melt 2 Tablespoons of butter and throw in your jalapeno and onion. 

Sprinkle over the salt, pepper, and chili powder. 

Stir the mixture and allow it to begin to sweat off some of its liquid.  After about 5 minutes, stir in the garlic.

Continue to cook the mixture for another 5 minutes or so, stirring frequently.  While it’s cooking you can go ahead and grate the cheese.  It’ll be much easier to do if you put it in the freezer for 15 minute or so first.  It’s very important to grate your own cheese for this.  The pregrated stuff doesn’t melt as well.  It’s also important to use cheeses that melt very easily.  I used about equal parts of Monterey jack and mild cheddar.

Once the vegetable mixture has cooked down and everything is mostly soft, add the diced tomatoes. 

Stir them around just long enough to cook off some of the moisture.  About 2 minutes.  Sprinkle the flour over the top of the mixture. 

Stir it in until it is completely incorporated and you no longer see any dry flour.  The mixture will be thick and pasty. 

Cook it for about a minute, stirring constantly, and then pour in the milk. 

Stir until the mixture become thick and creamy and comes to a boil.  You might need to increase the heat a little for that.  Once it’s come to a full boil, turn off the heat and throw in the cilantro.

Stir that in and allow the mixture to cool slightly before beginning to add the cheese.  There are two very important rules you need to follow in order to ensure you’ll end up with a nice creamy dip and not an oil clumpy mess.  First, it CANNOT be boiling when the cheese goes in.  Second, the cheese has to go in very, VERY slowly.  You want to add maybe ¼ cup at a time. 

Then stir it in and allow it to fully incorporate before sprinkling in the next addition.  If you have strings like this,

It’s not ready for another addition yet.  It should be smooth and creamy, with no stretchy, stingy, anything.  If the mixture cools too much, you might want to turn the burner back on to a very low heat, but be careful.  If it gets too hot, it will turn grainy and will eventually break.  If at any time, you start to see it becoming a grainy texture, remove it from the heat immediately and stir in a couple of ice cubes and a tablespoon of milk.  If you’re lucky, that will save it for you, but no guarantee.  Remember, low and slow is your friend here.  Continue to stir in the cheese until it’s all incorporated completely, then add the sour cream. 

Stir that in.  The heat will slowly allow it to melt and disperse into the mixture.  There you have it.  Creamy, delicious queso made without using any processed, cheese food product.  If you have a way to keep it warm at a very low temperature, that will keep the consistency the best.  If not, just cover it and serve it in small portions that can be eaten before it cools completely.  Serve with your favorite tortilla chips. 

Creamy, slightly spicy, and delicious.  The perfect accompaniment for the Super Bowl.

So, Pats or Giants?  Who are you rooting for?