rats

I've loved ratatouille ever since I read "The Princess and the Zucchini."

And no it was not erotica.

It's a short story from an anthology that was published in the early 80s by the University of BC press, and it's not your typical fairy tale. The princess does not kiss her frog (zucchini) and live happily ever after; instead, she makes dinner for the family.

Ratatouille.

And though eggplant is often seen as the primary ingredient in this provencal vegetable stew, you just can't make it without the zucchini.

Ratatouille

What you need:

• 1 large eggplant
• 2 zucchini
• 1/2 onion
• 1 red bell pepper
• 9 or 10 small tomatoes
• 8 cloves of garlic
• olive oil
• balsamic vinegar
• basil
• thyme
• marjoram

What you gotta do:

I actually took more steps in this than are absolutely necessary. I was also apparently vibrating when I made this because nearly all of the pictures are blurred by movement. But, it's stew, it's not like I need to show detail.

Preheat the oven to 425.

Chop the eggplant, zucchini, onion, and pepper into fair sized chunks, about 1 inch cubed. You can peel the eggplant if you want, but it's not necessary. I partly peeled mine. The colour is nice to have, but I find the skins can be tough sometimes.

Put the veggies in a large baking dish along with 6 of the garlic cloves, whole, and drizzle a few table spoons of olive oil over them.

See what I mean? Fuzzy.

Toss the oil and veg together so that they're all just barely coated with the oil.

This is the only perfectly clear picture of the night.

Roast the veggies for at least 30 minutes, then take them out, stir them, and poke at them to see if they're done. They should be tender, on the way to being soft, but not mushy. They may need another 15 minutes in there. Mine did.

But that's okay, because it gives you time to make the sauce.

So, yes, you could just put the tomatoes and herbs in the baking dish and do it all in one pan. But you don't have quite as much control over the moisture level that way. And most of the moisture is going to come from the tomatoes. I wanted a very thick stew, not at all soupy, so I did my tomatoes on the stove top in a small pan.

First though, chop them into chunks about the size of the rest of the veggies and remove the seeds and pulp. That part alone gets rid of a fair amount of moisture.

Chop the garlic, and chiffonade the basil as well.

Heat a tablespoon of olive oil in a shallow pan. Drop in the tomatoes and garlic and let them cook for a few minutes. The pan should be hot enough that the tomatoes sizzle as soon as they're in, and they should stay bubbling the whole time. It won't take long for the tomatoes to lose their shape and turn into something resembling a thick sauce.

Once they have, add the herbs.

Three pictures of the damn sauce and this is the clearest one. I gave up.

Basil is apparently some kind of faux pas in ratatouille because it's considered too Italian for this French dish, which I totally don't understand because it is considered a "herbe de Provence" like the thyme and marjoram are. Lavender is too, and while I have some in the cupboard, I'm saving it for a fabulous dessert.

By the time the tomatoes have cooked down, the veggies should be done.

Pour the tomatoes over them, then add about a tablespoon of balsamic vinegar.

Okay, the blur in this one might be my fault, because I was pouring and picturing at the same time. But still! That's amazingly fuzzy, even for me.

Gently stir this all together. The veggies should be able to hold their shape as they're being coated by the tomatoes and vinegar.

I know, it seems a little odd to be pouring vinegar into a stew, but it gives the sweet veggies a bit of zing.

Serve with some crusty french bread, or some garlic toast with mozzarella.

If that's not too Italian for you. (seriously, where do people come up with this shit)

You can serve this with rice, or noodles, or as a side with chicken. Me, I'd rather eat it with a spoon. I also want to try putting it on the garlic bread and baking the mozzarella on top of it...

"Green Bean" Casserole

So I was talking to Hubby about the fact that I’ve totally neglected Thanksgiving posts this year.  He said I should make green bean casserole, which is kind of ironic considering he doesn’t like green beans or anything even resembling a casserole.  I know green bean casserole is a very traditional side for Thanksgiving, but I’ll be honest, I’m not a fan a green beans either.  Not to mention the canned crap it’s usually made with. Hubby suggested I use asparagus.  Why not?  I love asparagus.  I shouldn’t admit this in public, but I’m pretty sure he’s a genius.  So, if you like your traditional green beans, you can use them, or broccoli, or cauliflower, but I’m sticking with asparagus. 

Here’s what you’ll need: 

• 1 lb. asparagus
• 3 or 4 green onions
• Handful of crimini mushrooms
• 3 Tablespoons butter
• 3 Tablespoons flour
• ½ teaspoon pepper
• 2 cups milk
• ½ cup cream
• 1 teaspoon salt  
• ½ teaspoon dried oregano (Mexican if you have it)
• ½ teaspoon dried parsley
• ½ teaspoon onion powder
• ½ teaspoon garlic powder 

For the onions: 

• 1 onion
• 1 cup buttermilk
• ½ teaspoon salt
• ½ teaspoon pepper
• 1 cup flour
• ½ teaspoon salt

The first thing to do is slice the onion.  Cut the onion in half (I like to leave the root end on to hold it all together) and make very thin slices. 

Repeat with the other half. 

Separate the slices and place them into a shallow dish like a pie plate.  (If ever there was a time for onion goggles, this is it.) Measure out 1 cup of buttermilk.

Add ½ teaspoon of salt.

And ½ teaspoon of pepper.

Stir that together and pour over the top of the onions. 

Toss the onions to make sure they’re all coated, then cover them and set them aside.

Now onto the star of the show, the asparagus.  After it’s washed, bend each stalk and allow it to break where it will.  Anything below the break is tough and goes in the trash. 

As for the rest, cut them into thirds and throw them into a large bowl. 

Next up, the mushrooms.  I always wash my mushrooms. 

I know, I’ve heard all the nonsense about water making mushrooms soggy or tough or whatever else it’s supposed to do.  Well, quite frankly, I don’t believe any of it, and regardless, I’ll take my chances.  If any other piece of produce looked like this, it would be getting a good bath. 

Cut your mushrooms into chunks.  Do what you want with the stems.  I didn’t want to deal with trimming them, so I just discarded them. 

Add them to the bowl and slice your green onions.  I ended up with maybe ¼ cup. 

And into the bowl. 

Now it’s time for the cream sauce.  As I’ve mentioned before, condensed cream of blech soups are nasty and not allowed in my home.  It just isn’t that hard to make a cream sauce.  In a pan over medium heat, melt 3 Tablespoons of butter.

When it’s completely melted and bubbling, sprinkle over 3 Tablespoons of flour.

Stir those together until they look something like this.

Sprinkle in ½ teaspoon of black pepper. 

Stir that around for 45 seconds or so and then pour in 2 cups of milk.

Stir that together, then add ½ cup cream, 1 teaspoon salt, ½ teaspoon each of dried oregano, dried parsley, onion powder, and garlic powder. 

Stir constantly until it comes to a boil and begins to thicken. 

Remove it from the heat and pour it over your bowl o’ veg. 

Stir that until everything is evenly distributed and pour it into a baking dish.  Smooth out the top and set it aside while you get back to the onions. 

Preheat your oven to 450°.  In a storage bag, mix together 1 cup flour and ½ teaspoon salt. 

Remove the onions from the buttermilk and allow the excess to drip off.  (if you’re planning to make savory biscuits, that would be a fabulous second round use for this buttermilk)

Drop them into the flour. 

Inflate the bag like a balloon and shake shake shake. 

You should end up with something like this.  If you start getting sticky clumps, add more flour and shake some more.

Line a sheet pan with foil and spray it liberally with cooking spray.  Sprinkle the onions around trying your best to get close to a single layer. 

Spray the onions liberally with the same cooking spray and into the oven they go.  9-10 minutes is all it will take for them to be browned and crispy. 

*Warning, the oven at this temperature is hot and even with no smoke can send up a wave of air hot enough to set off the fire alarm, thereby scaring the bejesus out of the dog, for which it will take many treats to be forgiven. 

Now back to the casserole part of this.  Turn the oven down to 350° and place the pan in, uncovered for about 50 minutes.  It will be nice and bubbly and starting to brown on top. 

Give it a good stir then chop your crispy onions into slightly smaller pieces and sprinkle them over the top.  (Obviously it wouldn't be the same, but you could save yourself some work and probably get a similar effect by mixing panko with melted butter and onion powder and sprinkling that over the casserole before baking) 

The heat emanating from the casserole will warm the onions, so just leave it to cool for a good 20 minutes, and serve or put it on the table with all the other fabulous sides you’ve made.  You will be blown away by what a difference it makes to skip the can and make your own. 

What is your least favorite Thanksgiving side dish?